Live through
by Nightroad
Summary: In aftermath of fight against Cedric, Will is confronted by guilt for her actions as guardian.
1. Celebration

Disclaimer.

I dont own any characters in this story.

Part 1

Cedric fell to the ground. He has been defeated along with rest of his forces and no longer possessed power of Phobos, Nerissa or Elyon. Guardians was still in their transcended forms unaware of themselves. They were nothing more than pure power manifestations of Aurameres now. Inside them however they tried to understand themselves and what became of them until they heard familiar voices that called them back. Altough they didn't recognize them, they felt that they are friends and care for them. Soon they felt light around them and slowly remember themselves just as power granted by committing themselves to dragon power faded. They felt like they have awoken from bad dream, but now it was over. They stood in middle of street along with their friends, reunited by former guardians and Elyon. It was victory although it required all power they had and many sacrifices. Although part of Meridian lied in ruins from battles with Phobos forces, Elyon insisted that before large rebuilding work begins her people and friends need to celebrate victory over both Nerissa and Phobos.

Celebration was set near castle of Meridian with more than thousand people attending. Guardians set at highly decorated table together with queen, Caleb and Matt. Cornelia was throwing stories at table about their fights against Nerissa to Elyon.

-"You know Corny, listening at you I think Nerissa hit your head harder than it looked like back then", Irmas interrupted Cornelias story.

Everyone except Will and Cornelia started to laugh.

"Ok I guess, I overdid with importance of my role there, and I guess we all fought equally hard" replied Cornelia when laughter stopped. She hated when Irma made fun of her.

"But is it so bad that I slightly exaggerate my role a little in front of my friends?"

"Slightly!?" Irma almost shouted.

"Stop this" Elyon interrupted conversation as she didn't wanted this conversation to go out of control, specially during such joyful event as her celebration "you don't have to make stories up so I would like you. You all are still my friends despite how much each of you did".

For a moment deadly silence overtook table. "Sorry about this" said Elyon "don't take it too close and just continue"

"By the way Will you almost havn't said single word today" said Irma noticing that Will is looking in her cup with empty sight.

"What?, Sorry I thought about something else" Replied Will and tried to force smile upon her.

Are you okay, you are acting bit weird today

Yes all is fine, I just have not had good opportunity to take good sleep and feel bit tired.

Ookay

Suddenly conversation is interrupted by crier: "Now I would like to give word to Meridians army commander Drake, he would like to say his speech on this joyful day."

Will took drink from cup and stood up from table" Excuse me, I think I will be going for today, I don't feel too good."

"Whats with you? " Cornelia asked.

"Don't worry ,just something I ate or too much vine, I will be fine" Will replied.

"You sure, Should I go with you and you hardly touched your food?" Matt asked.

"No, no need, I am fine I can portal myself perfectly"

"You sure"

"Positively"

All who sat at table made their goodbyes and let her go. After she was gone Matt asked:

"Anyone else noticing that Will is acting weird lately."

"Ye I guess, she is more silent than usual, I think she is just tired." Cornelia notes.

"You think that's all?"

"Doubt it, we should really talk to her tomorrow", Taranee coments

"All of us?"

"Well not necessary"

"With that all you said I am starting to worry about her too, I will visit her first thing in the morning", Cornelia replies.

TBC


	2. Confession

Part 2.

Earth, Heatherfield,

next day, morning.

Cornelia slowly walks up the stairs and rethinks what better to say. She still hopes its only slight problem that will go away in time, however inner voice does not let it go. Even blind could see that Will was not okay lately, but none wanted to ask it directly. On small notices about her look or behavior she alleged to being simply tired.

She reached Wills door, but could not decide to press ring button. After minute of hesitation she forces herself to ring to the door. Another minute pass and door is opened and reveals Will standing in doorway. Cornelia still wasn't certain what to say.After few moments of silence Will started.

"Hi Corny".

"Morning Will, mind if I come in."

"Not at all, come inside."

Will turned around and invited Cornelia into her flat. Room was unusually well cleaned. Cornelia sat on couch and took backpack of her shoulders and put it near herself. Will turned her office chair so it faces Cornelia and sat on it.

"So how you feeling today" Cornelia started.

"You mean about yesterday? I am pretty much ok now. Just couldn't sleep again"

"Glad to hear, I have something for you."

Cornelia opens backpack and takes out black wooden case encrusted with various silver decorations. Center of the lid was encrusted with twin curved lines that symbolized Wills element.

"Yesterday Elyon wanted officially hand them to us as tokens for our deeds, but since you had to leave early we decided to not make any official ceremony for handing these" said Cornelia while turning case to Will.

"What is it?" asked will While looking at case

"Open it then".

Will opens the case and it reveals finely crafted dagger with almost foot long blade. Like case, its hilt was engraved with same symbol.

"Those are daggers meant for the Meridians army commanders, however these ones never had masters before, so they were personalized for us, Aldarn personally engraved and made cases for them" said Cornelia looking at Will as she studied dagger.

"Its beautiful" said Will and took it out of case in left hand and started to examine it.

"Yes they are pretty nice, we each received one. Careful they are very sharp." Said Cornelia noticing that Will is sliding her index finger along the edge.

Will put her finger to point of the dagger and looked into blades side, watching reflection of her eyes in it. After short while Will puts dagger back in the case, closes it and puts it on the table.

After minute Will breaks silence:" You are not really good at this"

Cornelia shrugged. Wills voice was unusually cold.

"What do you mean?"

"Giving me the dagger. It is not real reason you are here I presume"

"You are right. I really didn't know how to start. Well yesterday after you left we talked and we are kind of worried about you. You are acting not like yourself lately. So wanted to ask if there is anything wrong with you.

Will sighed, stood up from chair and walked to window.

"Well to tell truth I am not really feeling as myself lately. I am thinking a lot lately and I think I want to quit guardian business.

"QUIT WHAT!?" Cornelia almost shouted " what happened Will?"

"Don't you see yourself? What we are becoming with each fight."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that every time we fight for our "just cause" we are becoming more like they. They send army of soldiers, and we are forced to kill them. No matter how many ten or hundred, their blood is on my hands"

"That's not true. We do it because it is right thing, We are protecting innocents. No war can be fought without victims, specially amongst soldiers. We don't harm innocents "

" Listen at yourself. Do you even believe yourself what you are trying to prove to me. We mindlessly do what we think is better and what we are told to do. When someone surrenders we spare him just to think we are good guys. That is only thing that separates us and them, for now."

"Don't compare us with Phobos or that hag. We fight so everyone is safe from tyranny. They fought so they can get power for themselves. We care for people we protect."

"Is that so? When Nerissa started to win. We stroke deal with the devil, fully realizing consequences that it will lead to, we knew he will break pact, we knew he will retake Meridian for himself. People I ordered to fight against Phobos were sent to certain doom. Their blood is on my hands, I cant watch in the eyes of Drake, Elyon or anyone else on Meridian anymore."

"There was no other choice, she was too strong for us. People of Meridian knew what they were fighting for and they were ready to sacrifice themselves for their home."

"Maybe so, but they did not sacrificed themselves for any noble cause. I sacrificed them. We were playing chess with living pawns. I allowed thousands of people to fight in hopeless battle,to be butchered by Phobos and Cedric, so we can eventually win. Our means of achieving victory are same as theirs. We are no better than them."

Cornelia was watching Will as she talks and wanted to object to her, but she could not think of anything to say. When Will stopped talking, room sank into deadly silence.

"But Will" Cornelia finally said" you cant quit and leave us, without you we cant continue our duty and you are out friend"

"Cant quit? Watch me. As one that were first to try to quit when Elyon was captured by Phobos, you should know how I feel and that I can quit."

"Yes as one that tried to quit I know importance of not giving up, you with other girls taught me that"

"Listen this world is not black and white as you see it, at least we certainly are not white as we would like to be"

"Guess I cant convince you now to change your decision now"

"NO, not really"

"Well we will still be friends, right? Even if you quit"

"Of course"

"How about you come to the Dragon at three o clock for dinner. Its on us"

"Guess I could come. But first I must do several chores otherwise my mum will kill me if they wont be done by time she comes home"

"See you then"

When Cornelia left Will wiped her forehead of sweat. She felt as if room was unusually hot. She sat at the table and picked up book that covered sheet of paper and picked up pen.

TBC


	3. The word she left

Chapter 3.

The word she left.

Will was sitting in her chair in front of blank page. Although almost half an hour passed she had not written single word yet.

"Why every thing must be so hard? Even something trivial as few words" will asked herself.

She puts pen down and drops head over back of a chair and watched into ceiling. Minute pass and she draws her attention back to table. Table was recently ordered and contained only some books, blank sheet of paper, photo of her friends and case Cornelia gave her before she left. Will opens the case and takes out dagger and examines it again.

"Token for our deeds. How foolish. Prize for murdering people" Will thought at herself as anger overflow her body. She tosses dagger back in its case and picks up photo of her friends.

"Sorry I can't think when you all watch at me like this" Will say to picture, and places it face down on table and picks up a pen again. Will draw her attention back to sheet of paper and start to write.

Time passes as Will writes her note until she finishes it and put pen back in drawer. She takes her talisman of her neck and watches it as it emits dim purple light. Again anger overflows her body as she watches it. Moment passes and Will puts the heart in the case along with dagger and closes its lid.

"It is ready" Will thinks at herself and stands up from the chair and walks into the kitchen. There she takes glass filled with water, retrieves case of pills and returns back to her chair.

She places glass on the table and carefully opens lid that was covering the medication case. She pours as much pills as possible in her palm and after few moments of hesitation tries to swallow them, several pills fall to the floor. Will picks up glass of water and drinks it down. Moments pass and Will start to feel slight sense of vertigo and sleepiness. Few more minutes pass and Will sinks into sleep in her chair.

* * *

Cornelia was window shopping in nearby mall shop. There was still time till they must meet at the Dragon. Suddenly she felt sharp pain in her heart, strong and surprising enough to almost make her faint. She barely staggers to nearby bench and sits on it, and tries to regain her breath. Sense of something wrong overtook her body as pain faded. She could not make it to go away. Only once before in her life she experienced something similar, when Elyon was endangered from the hands of Phobos. Cornelia cleared her head and concentrated: "Taranee, do you hear me."

"Yes what is it?" Taranee replied.

"I hope its nothing, can you contact Will?"

"What happened, is everything ok?"

"Not sure, just contact Willl"

"Ok just give me moment"

Minute passes and Taranees voice sounds in her head again:

"No response, she either can't answer or something is blocking my link. What's happening there?"

"Not sure. Something is wrong, I can feel it."

"Did you visited Will this morning already?"

"Yes I will explain later"

Cornelia jumped up and started to run as fast as possible. Mall was at least 10 minutes of walking from Wills house. Cornelia made that distance in less than 5 minutes. Soon she was standing before Wills apartment. She rang at her door and started to knock at it while shouting out Wills name. Another minute pass and Cornelia concentrates to invoke her power. With some effort she manages to unlock her door with telekinesis. As soon as she enters room she sees unconscious Will lying in her chair. She rans up to her and shakes Wills unconscious body.

"Will, Will do you hear me!?" Cornelia shouted as she tried to wake up her friend.

She tried to calm down and looked around for phone, grabbed it and dialed 911.

"911 " soft women's voice answered.

"Its my friend, she is lying unconscious"

"Please calm down miss, please name your address and what exactly happened"

"I am not exactly sure, its her house I don't know exact address."

"What is your name miss and what is the name of the patient?"

"Cornelia, her name is Will Vandom"

"Ok Cornelia please don't panic now, medics are on their way. Is patient breathing and does she has pulse"

"Not sure, I will check"

"Do you have any idea what happened to her?"

"No not really, I found her that way, she is just lying in her chair but there is some sort of discarded pills all around on the floor."

"Ok don't panic now and take her out of chair and place her on the floor and check if she has pulse and is she breathing."

Cornelia gathers her strength and takes her out of chair and places her on the floor. She opens her shirt and places ear to her breast while watching her face. She was hardly breathing and heartbeat was barely noticeable. While watching her pulse she notices that something is missing, it was gone, the heart that she almost never took of her neck was not there.

"She has slight pulse but she almost is not breathing" said Cornelia on the phone while looking around for the heart and noticing note that she has left on the table."

"Do you know how to perform CPR?"

" No"

"Okay medic teams will be there shortly, just hang on"

Cornelia picks up note and quickly reads it.

"Dear mom. If you are reading this then most likely I am already dead. I have made several mistakes that I am not able to live with and I wish that you don't blame anyone for my death except me. You were greatest mom that kid could ever want. I am sorry. There is case near this note. I want that you turn it and this note to my friend Taranee.

Taranee, Cornelia, Irma, Hay-lin, Matt, you were best friends that I could ever want however I cant go on. I am sorry that I can't carry it any longer. You were more than friends to me. Please don't mourn for me.

Cornelia I have one last request for you. I know that it might be hard for you, but I ask you that you or anyone else reveal to Elyon what happened to me. I don't want that more people mourn over me. I only hope that you all can forgive me for what I did."

Tears appeared in the Cornelias eyes. She took note and placed it inside her backpack. She did not want that to be seen by Wills mother especially if she survives. She looked around and picked up case she gave to Will early this morning and opened it. It revealed both dagger and heart stored in it. She took talisman out of case and kept it into her palm. It emitted slight glow and sparkling sound. For moment thought of keeping it appeared in her head, but she quickly dismissed it and placed it around Wills neck. It started to glow with brighter light as if trying to do something. Few minutes later medics appeared in room and picked up Will. They ordered her to stay there so she can talk with cops about possible suicide attempt.

Cornelia was exhausted from running and stress and she fell back on Wills chair where she was sitting unconscious few minutes ago.

TBC


	4. Redemption

**Chapter 4 - Redemption**

Two days later. Heatherfield hospital.

"So do you have any idea how is she today" Irma asked as they approached hospital along with Elyon, Matt and rest of Guardians.

"I called mrs Vandom this morning. She said that Will has been moved from the intensive care, but her condition is still bad" Cornelia replied.

"Hope she is going to be fine"

"Well we can only hope. By the way Elyon. Where is Caleb?"

"I left him in charge of Meridian along with my parents while I am taking care of this, someone has to stay there after all, although he was really worried about Will too" said Elyon.

"Elyon, Matt. If will is in such bad shape cant any of you just use your hearts power to heal her? Its not like healing one person would drain all your power" Hay Lin asked.

"It does not work that way. Even if our powers are sufficient to heal her dozens of times, it is beyond our power to help her now. Our powers can't help someone who does not wish it" Matt replied and sighed.

"But is there any way we can help her"

"I hope there is" Elyon replied. "But I can only hope that it will work. Her biggest pain is not physical. Even if we could mend her body against her will, pain from her conciseness will remain and it will continue to haunt her."

"So what we are going to do. Just sit by and pray that she will get better?"

"Yesterday I with Cornelia and Taranee thought about it and I hope we can help her, we only must hope she will accept our help"

* * *

They approached room where Will was sleeping and opened doors. Room was meant for two patients, however second bed was empty. Her mother was sitting by her bed and holding her hand.

"Good day mrs Vandom"

"Good day"

"So how is she today?"

"Doctors said that her condition is stable now, however she has slipped into coma. There is no telling when she might recover or will there be any lasting effects. They also said that she is quite lucky to be alive, child of her age would most likely be dead from dose of drugs she consumed, and they said she must have been born under some lucky star to still be here. I still can't understand why she did this" Susan replied and started to cry while strengthening her hold on Wills hand.

"Star on her neck I guess" Cornelia though for a second and placed flowers she bought early on nearby table.

"Mind if we stay here for while mrs Vandom?" Taranee asked.

"Of course not, just take your time" she replied.

Tarnanee walked up to will bed and sat on opposite side of Wills mother and took her hand. Elyon approached Taranee from back and placed her hand on Taranees shoulder and concentrated herself to synchronize herself with the rest of the group. Taranee took deep breath and strengthened hold on Wills hand and concentrated:" Will do you hear me?"

Suddenly Will along with rest of group found themselves in highly decorated room sitting on chairs that was placed in circle. Every guardian was sitting in their guardian form, while Elyon was wearing her royal outfit. Wills chair was positioned opposite to Elyons chair with Cornelia and Matt by her sides.

"Where am I" surprised Will asked" I am not dead am I?"

"No, not really. You are lying in hospital now" Elyon replied.

"I mean what is this place. It kinda looks like your palace. Am I in the Meridian?"

"This place? Nowhere really. Its all in your head. Just some place I made up so we could talk. Think of it as a dream"

"So you found me even if I am unconscious" Will sighed

"Well that's what are friends are for" Cornelia replied.

"I hope I didn't made much trouble back there"

"Well we all are quite worried and your mother is crying"

"I am sorry. Did she found the note I left?"

"You mean this one?" Cornelia replied as note appeared in her hand "Nope I took it. It does not serve any purpose now since you are going to live. Also sorry that I did not fulfilled your last request, but since its not last anymore I hope you can forgive me that"

" I am not sure on that one. How did I survive. Did someone found me?"

"Yes I found you and called doctors"

"How did you find me, and you perfectly know I can't go on with that burden"

"I sensed it, I am not sure on nature of this link. Was it you or was it heart that warned me. I don't know, but I sensed it. And you can go on, we all came this length to prove you that."

Will averted eyes from her friends and started to cry. Matt wanted to stand up and approach her, but Elyon picked up hand and stopped him and stood up herself. She approached Will and kneeled near her, put her hands on Wills shoulders and looked in her eyes.

"Will, listen to me now. I want to show you something. Take my hands." Elyon said and stretched her hands towards Will with palms upward. Both palms started to glow. Will cleared her eyes and accepted Elyons hands. Will felt as if current ran through her body, as she found herself looking at rocky landscape.

"What is this place? Its some sort of battlefield" Will asked to Elyon.

"Yes it is"

"Why did you bring me to this place?"

"I want you to talk with someone"

"Who is it?

"Follow me Will"

Both Will and Elyon went through battlefield filled with broken soldier bodies and discarded weapons. In the center of battlefield was standing man wearing armors and bearing symbol of Meridians rebellion.

"That is commander Dreygan. He is one of commanders that led resistance against Phobos forces."

"Is he alive? Can you bring them back?"

"No sorry, that is beyond my powers however I can offer you a chance. Chance that you did not had back then. I want you to talk with him"

"You know I cant do that."

"You must if you ever want to overcome it, just do it as a favor for us. Now go"

Will reluctantly started to move towards soldier. She tried to avert her sight from commander as she approached him.

"I am, I am.. my name is Will" Will tried to talk with soldier.

"I know who you are guardian" Dreygan replied.

"Then you know that I am responsible that you are here" Will said and dropped on her knees and started to cry.

"Rise guardian" Dreygan said and offered hand to help Will to stand up.

"You are broken because you believe that you made wrong choice. I don't know if there was any other choice to defeat Nerissa or Phobos, but if they would capture our homes I would rather die than live under such rule. At least now most of our people is assured to live free. Come I want show you something." Dreygan talked as he led Will up to an edge of a mountain.

"Look down. What do you see?" he continued. Will looked over the edge and saw one of Meridians villages.

"Down there in that village lives my family. I am not with them, but I take some comfort in knowledge that my sacrifice helped them to assure free lives" He continued. "You cant take back choices you have made, however you can assure that our lives are not lost in vain. If you die with us, you wont be able to protect them, and if they face danger again and if you wont be there to protect them then our lives will be lost for nothing. If you somehow feel guilt over our lives, then only thing we can ask you is that you continue your duty."

"I am sorry" Will cried out.

"You must return to your friends now. My time here is almost up. My only regret is that someone fragile and kind as you is forced to carry this burden. No one deserves this"

Will opened her eyes and looked around but Dreygan was already gone. Elyon was standing several meters behind her.

"We must go back now. I couldn't keep him for longer than this. My powers are exhausted from being trapped inside seal." Elyon said and offered her hands to Will again. Will accepts Elyons palms. Flash of light passes before her eyes and she find herself back inside palace room with chairs sitting on one if them. Elyon was standing near her along with Cornelia and Matt.

"You see that there is so much at stake that we cant let you go, nor we can let you go as our friend. Look around. What do you see? If you die then Cornelia and Matt will be left alone and they wont be able to protect Lilian alone. If you go you wont be able to protect me. You must understand that even tough we posses more power than any human we are not gods. And thus our powers and choices are limited and to make right choice we sometimes must become devil himself"

Cornelia leaned towards Will and whispered in her ear: "You do that again and I will find you in afterlife when my time comes. No human life span would be enough for me to forget it"

Tears appeared in Wills eyes and she averted sight from her friends. Matt hugged her and kissed Will on cheek. Her face noticeably turned red and she smiled slightly.

"Now Will take my hands and say that you want to live" Elyon stretched out her palms that glowed with bright light. Will stood up from her chair and after moments of hesitation accepted them. Bright flash passed before her eyes as she found herself with closed eyes disoriented and lying. She slowly tried to open eyes, but sight was blurred. She couldn't make out figures that surrounded her, but she could clearly hear voice that said :" Welcome back".

**The End.**

* * *

**A/N**

Well this is my first FF so don't be to hard on rating it. In fact I actually haven't written anything serious before.

Some words on what inspired me on writing this. First is that I understand that W.i.t.c.h is t show meant for more or less younger audience so mature themes like staring in a barrel of a gun and thinking of who deserves to die and who dosnt isn't really themes to be explored there. However show contained several themes that naturally raised questions about guardian morality. Of course sacrificing one of their own so other might live might be right choice from pragmatic point of view, however guardians are just kids with burden of power and responsibility and thus no moral reaction for choices they make is more or less strange. Of course I didn't expect that such show will explore such themes, but since its present there we can only assume that a) they feel regret over those choices b) they don't feel regrets since power they bear has physically and morally altered them to not feel any guilt.

Depending on reviews, free time and inspiration I might be able to write another story. So don't forget to review if you somehow managed to read so far.


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